This is the result of reading Julie's post (which I must say was really good!!)
I had a little rant because I have so many experiences with kids and how they feel (or don't feel--kids with autism spectrum disorders or asbergers which will be seperate disorders in the new DSM-V) about their appearances.
Since I have such a psychological background, it is common that during adolescence, you are more egocentric and feel that the whole world sort of revolves around you. Everyone is judging you (that is your belief system, so you want to be liked, meaning cool clothes, looking good, and being accepted by the popular kids. There are many theories on adolescence.. Here is one that helps explain this. (remember, it is only a theory, therefore it is not proven)!!!!
Erikson's stage's of Development
Adolescence: 12 to 18 Years
**(as cited from one of my textbooks, Theories of Personality 9th Ed, Schultz & Schultz, 2009)
Ego Development Outcome: Identity vs. Role Confusion
Basic Strengths: Devotion and Fidelity
Up to this stage, according to Erikson, development mostly depends upon what is done to us. From here on out, development depends primarily upon what we do. And while adolescence is a stage at which we are neither a child nor an adult, life is definitely getting more complex as we attempt to find our own identity, struggle with social interactions, and grapple with moral issues.
Our task is to discover who we are as individuals separate from our family of origin and as members of a wider society. Unfortunately for those around us, in this process many of us go into a period of withdrawing from responsibilities, which Erikson called a "moratorium." And if we are unsuccessful in navigating this stage, we will experience role confusion and upheaval.
A significant task for us is to establish a philosophy of life and in this process we tend to think in terms of ideals, which are conflict free, rather than reality, which is not. The problem is that we don't have much experience and find it easy to substitute ideals for experience. However, we can also develop strong devotion to friends and causes.
It is no surprise that our most significant relationships are with peer groups.
Hope this helps to understand what is really going on during adolescence! It is also important to remember that social media and parenting play a huge role in how children and adolescence feel about themselves. Fostering a positive self image and remembering to praise, PRAISE, PRAISE kids for their achievements, and trying not to focus so much on appearances helps. Also being actively involved in their lives (but not smothering and restricting kids)! BALANCE IS KEY (just like eating habits & exercise!!!!)
Like Julie stated, its also just a stage that most kids go through, and at some point you feel more appreciative of the compliments that focus on your accomplishments/personality rather than appearances. Really I could go on and on about this..But I am going to stop. If you have questions please email me (email@example.com)!
Now that I got that off my chest.... phew.
After work, I headed to the gym. The clouds were about to burst as I was on my way and the humidity was super duper high!!
Let me say, I am so glad that I didn't do that spin class last night! My legs felt so good (though my abs and upper body were super sore!)
I did a little over 4 mile on the treadmill in 34 minutes. A slower pace but I was increasing the incline while remaining at the same speed (7.2), reaching about 4.0. Incline is killer and really burns!
I would have done more but one of the new trainers at the gym asked me earlier if he could practice doing an assessment on me for training purposes. I am always up to help.
He just had me do some stretches, squats, pushups etc. The main purpose was for him to learn how to communicate what he wanted me to do. He also told me that it was evident that my IT Band was sore as well as my lats and tricips (YESS so true) But he told me at the end that he failed his little test because he was not able to communicate correctly what he wanted me to do. He asked if later on I would do it again so he could see how far he had advanced.
I did some stretches and abs and then...
Did some intervals between the treadmill and stair climber (similar to last week).
- half a mile on treadmill, 5 minutes on stair climber.. x 4 times (about, since I kept switching between the two by the time the 4th round came up, all the stair climbers were taken so I didn't do the last one)
I also have to admit my competitive edge came out a bit. A guy hopped on the treadmill next to me, and although I was not planning to sprint the last half miler very fast I increased the speed to 9.2 (i think) just for fun. Can you tell I really like to race people!!?? I always do this at the gym.. I HATE when other people go faster or farther than me... it really is a downfall because I will push myself to hard. I am working on it I swear!!
Major stretches and abs after.
The trainer bought me a shake for helping him out. Though I wasn't in the mood for one.. I took him up and got a matcha green tea smoothie! MM.. tasted like a milkshake! I drank some and put the rest in the freezer... Sometimes my stomach can't handle too much after a tough run!
Are you competitive with others at the gym or when you are running near others?
When you were younger did you feel self concious about appearances or that you were judged?
yes, i always did. I had curly hair when a lot of other people didn't. I didn't always have the cool clothes. I was soo self concious and always wanted to fit in.