Friday, June 10, 2011

Going to Bed Angry

I am not feeling too good.

Yesterday I came home after sitting in traffic for about an hour and a half, in hot sticky weather.
All I wanted to do was have a nice night with Jay.  Its always one of the best part of my days and I always look forward to it.
He on the other hand said he needed some space, he felt too crowded and decided he wanted to sit separate from me. It was just so irritating.  So.. I went for a walk.  It was my goal to chill out.  But I think it only made me angrier.  I just kept thinking about all the things that irritated me about him.
  • he never puts a new toilet paper roll on, though he will take a roll out and just put it next to the toilet
  • he never puts a new trash bag in the garbage bin after taking garbage out
  • he never puts recycling in the recycling bin, instead puts it on the shelf right above the bin.
  • I ALWAYS put the laundry away, and then he complains that its not the way he wants it
  • sometimes sits at home and does nothing around the house (i do that sometimes to, but will usually accomplish something!)...
There is probably more, BUT all this stuff is so minor I know. He is a great guy...
  • He makes dinner, loves to try new things
  • loves to spoil me
  • thinks I am beautiful no matter what
  • is very sweet and loving
  • loves to read, very active.. (for the most part)
  • loves trying new things
  • we are very much on the same state of mind, want the same things
  • supportive
  • motivated
I came home, and before even letting him say anything, I explained That I looked forward to seeing him every day,  I always rushed home, and wanted to spend time with him.  It was annoying to me that he wanted to be alone/away from me, and not acting like he was even excited to see me. I began crying... He gave me some attitude, asking what was wrong with me/why I was always so emotional...

Its not that I was just emotional (because I was)  But I wanted to feel appreciated, feel loved, and not like I was just picking up after him.  He always acts like he works so hard.. and he does, but so do I and he never acknowledges it because I work in smaller spurts than him...

I hate going to bed angry, but I did.

And although this morning I was supposed to have a client, he was sick and not in school, so I did not have anything to do.  I relaxed for a bit..and then began hardcore cleaning, washing all the curtains, vacuuming, putting all the laundry away, cleaning windows, dishes...

And then the rest of the day was blahhhh..

I sat, and began watching the first season of Glee.. and could not get off the couch!!
I did end up going to the gym but it took a lot of motivation and I did not go until 7.
  • 1 hour on the stair climber, level 15- aerobic training
  • stretching/abs
  • 3 miles in 22 min (about 7:20 pace avg)
  • weights
Now back to Glee..
Jay hates the show and I never got to see much of it due to classes that I had on the same night.
Definitely cheers me up.

Tomorrow- going to the Phillies Game.
Hopefully it does not rain!

Also watched Waiting for Superman last night!  SOOO good!  Maybe its because I have been in the school system and I see the horrible teachers.  I was bawling at the end of it...
Would recommend it for sure!!

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